Wedding Update

I just wanted to say that despite my theoretical qualms, despite the fact that the bride took the husband's last name, despite maid of honor making a toast that essentially said "now that you're married, start having kids," despite its general affirmation of marriage as an institution, my friends' wedding was a wonderful experience and I feel very lucky to have been a part of it. In general, it was a lovely wedding free from religious compulsion or too much sappy dwelling on love. It focused on the couple and forging a community of friends surrounding them.

As a performance, the wedding ceremony, while it did rather compel people into witnessing and voicing their affirmation rather than 'forever holding their peace,' was an extremely positive experience focused on the audience as much as the couple. Bride and groom both wrote their own speeches before the vows, which were wonderful. The bride's speech was so well done that not only did it make me cry, it made the groom try to kiss her too soon, causing a moment of pause and hilarity! The best moment, however, was the band playing at the ceremony. Three friends of the bride and groom (one of whom I believe had never met the other two before the wedding rehearsal) got together and played a song written by one of them. It was full of very idiosyncratic references to the couple's history and the community of friends and family that knows and loves them, and it was so amazingly special and perfect. Personally, I want a copy of the song to remember the event.

Not only was the wedding a lovely event, the reception was a pretty good dance party. I saw many old friends and acquaintances and talked to people I had never much expected to see again, and although reunions are not usually my scene, this one was well-filtered enough to be quite pleseant. I very much enjoyed meeting some of the couple's friends that I didn't know already who seem like very cool people even though it was occasionally awkward trying to start converstions with them. Plus, there was a little slow dancing and a lot of booty shakin', making for a fun time for all. It was rather fun, really.

My intellectual objections to marriage notwithstanding, this particular wedding was done rather sensitively, for which I was quite grateful, and more than that, these people are so important to me that whatever my objections, I'm so glad I was a part of this demonstration of their love. I'm glad they're sharing their lives with each other and I'm even more glad that their lives have intersected with mine in so many ways.