Things to live for

Bornstein, Kate. Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws. New York: Seven Stories Press, 2006.

There are many things I care about besides theater. For all of you who are new to this blog, you can expect occasional posts about books and gender and sexuality issues, of which this is both. I also talk about sci-fi, comics, or whatever strikes my fancy.

I didn't immediately recognize this as a book I would be interested in reading. But when I read Susie Bright's interview with Kate Bornstein, I changed my mind. Kate's voice and her approach convinced me that this is a book that I needed to read, even though I've never considered suicide myself. I'm glad I picked this one up.

First of all, I have a particular affinity for Kate Bornstein. I saw her speak at my college a year before I came out, and her talk moved me to tears and inspired some great conversations. I remember sitting on a knowl and processing the talk with two people who are still my friends many years later. So I will always appreciate her for that. I also saw parts of a video of her performance, Hidden: A Gender in a class that year, and it turned me on and excited me in ways I couldn't really explain at the time. It's a fascinating show, and I really wish I could see the whole thing. I read and teach her work whenever possible.

Hello Cruel World is in many ways a self-help book for young people who don't fit in. But it is so many other things as well. It's a simple, abstract approach to self-realization and identity issues, allowing even the most avid queer studies nerds (myself included) to rethink issues of gender, sexuality and many other choices that may not always seem like choices from a fresh perspective.

For a book about suicide, Hello Cruel World is pretty darn fun. It's actually quite whimsical and inspiring. It could easily be called '101 things to do before you die' whether that involves suicide or not. The first half of the book, while important and helpful, were slow going for me. But as soon as I got to the list, the crux of the book, I was delighted. Bornstein offers a brilliant, breezy list of things to do to make your life more tolerable. Many of them are playful ways to experiment with sex, gender, and sexuality and also religion, ideology, and sense of self. It encourages you to rethink and reinvent yourself in fun and managable ways. I love that she included such simple tasks as "Moisturize" and "Bake a Cake" as well as many complex ways of rethinking your entire life philosophy such as "Find a God Who Believes in You." She recommends books, movies, and video games to help in persuing each task. Bornstein seems to understand and speak from the mindset of anyone who conceives of themselves as an outsider, and really, it's not such a bad idea for anyone to approach life from the perspective of an outsider. Some of these options are final resorts, only for those who really need them, but many of them are great ways to improve your life for everyone.

Personally, this book made me want to make a list of things that make me happy, cheer me up when I'm depressed, and keep me alive. My list would put more emphasis on simple pleasures like take a bath, return to an old favorite (book or movie), cry, and laugh. Hello Cruel World's list is a little more sophisticated and a little more diverse, but I don't think making your own list of strategies for survival could ever be a bad idea. The best thing about this book is that it encourages its readers to make art in response to many of the steps in the struggle to survive in a cruel world.

This book is a fun and inspiring read for anyone who ever has been or wanted to be an outsider. Bornstein's only rule is not to hurt other people, and other than that, anything you need to do to survive is fair game, which is in itself a brilliant and very subversive approach to life. They are simple steps for changing the world and the way you look at it, and if we're lucky it will inspire not only survival, but artwork from those with an outsider's perspective on society.