On Houseguests with Charisma

I had a long talk with Turner while he was here about charisma and exploitation. The boy has charisma and he knows it, and he worries about taking advantage of other people because of it. Because he's so cute and talented and confident onstage, people want to know him, want to talk to him, want to do things for him. He asked what he should do about that. I said that he needs to be aware of what people are willing to do for him that they might not do otherwise, but that it isn't necessarily his responsibility to refuse those things. What this whole conversation made me think about was myself, of course. Was I letting him stay with me and share my bed (platonically) because he's so cute and charismatic? Yes, probably, but it isn't something I wouldn't have done for a friend. It's not something I haven't done for many friends before. And I really do consider him a good friend. But I also realized that there are many performers, several of whom are not exactly good friends, for whom I would have done the same. I am glad to open my home and my heart for performers whose work I believe in. I'm glad to help tech their shows (even if it means ironing as it did for Turner), drive them around, or give up my bed to make them comfortable in order to do my own tiny part to help them make their art happen. I feel as if it's the least I can do to give back to people who have dedicated their times to making good performances happen. I may have abandoned my direct participation in theater, but I still want to do everything I can to support talented performers. I want to foster good art in any way possible, and if a few hours of tech help and a bed to sleep on are what I can offer, I'm glad to do it. I would be thrilled to have more queer performance artists on my sofa if it meant more fabulous queer performance art in LA. And yes, that has something to do with charisma, but more to do with payback for the art that performers such as these make happen.